I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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