grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
