My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
