You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
