There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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