we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
is it fun? or sober?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
