There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
