you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
