We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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