you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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