No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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