Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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