Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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