I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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