I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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