Fuck appropriateness.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
