If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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