I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
