How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
