got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
