I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
