Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i've created a new STD.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
