My room smells like vodka and shame
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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