Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
