You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you didnt know i had herpes?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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