Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
