playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
