I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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