is your mom at the bar?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
