Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
