If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
