Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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