Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
