We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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