yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
