so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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