she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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