And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
