I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
