Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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