Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
