Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
