I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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