a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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