I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
