Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
