With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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