apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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