Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
