It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
