whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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