i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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